By Joel Williams
Jefferson City, Missouri: Jonathan Sessions, bearded member of the Columbia School Board, has recently formed a super PAC aimed at helping fellow politicians with a penchant for facial hair. The group, named Bearded Entrepreneurs for the Advancement of a Responsible Democracy (BEARD), is officially registered with the Federal Elections Committee. Speaking on the PAC's seriousness, Sessions said: ""We're as serious as the opportunity to raise unlimited funds and spend them toward campaigning with little accountability." Sessions claims that a beard review committee would look at individual beards to determine their eligibility for PAC funding. Unfortunately for mustached politicians, their facial hair will not be eligible for aid from BEARD.